Why is this so funny???

A guy walks into a doctor's office with a duck sitting on his head.

The doctor asks, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," says the duck, "can you get this man off my butt?"

I'm not a dude, but quite a few people have though I am. I like to think of it
as being in touch with both sides of my... what do they call it? Well, being in touch with myself.

Last year vs. This year #2

I was going to write about how awesome my teachers are this year in the last post, but then I got all worked up and ended up whining about how school sucked last year. Then I calmed down and deleted a lot of what I wrote and posted up a nicer version. On the off chance my ex-Italian teacher wanders across this and then takes up kickboxing.

Anyway, this year I have awesome teachers (mostly):

Psychology: My group is split in half for Psychology, sections A and B. Section A has this old man who talks so quietly you can't hear him unless you're about two meters away. Once I went into one of his classes, and my friends and I sat at the second table and all we could hear was "Psychology.... animals.... drugs...." . Also, he was so old and weak he had a hard time opening a marker to make chicken scratchings write on the board.

And he kept leaning forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards, his hands on his hips, while sitting at the desk mumbling to himself. Like a frail, old bird trying to peck at the ground, but not quite making it.

I'm in section B, though, which doesn't actually have a Psychology teacher. Hee hee. So I can sleep in on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Physics: Interesting subject, but the teacher makes it kind of boring, 'cause he explains stuff over and over (and over), mistaking our looks of boredom for looks of puzzlement. Luckily, the homework is interesting (so far, at any rate).

Literature: She's weird about some stuff (who cares what my notebook looks like? She's the only one who even bothered to tell us to bring a notebook. Sheesh) but she's kind of interesting. I'm not sure what to think yet.

Oh, and she's married to the Physics teacher and today I saw them walking together. Well, not really. It was more like she was striding along and he was scurrying behind her, carrying her stuff.

Biology: I have the same teacher as last year. This time I'm making an effort to stay awake and it's awesome! Did you know that jellyfish don't have orgasms?

Derecho: I'm not sure how to translate that. Sort of like law, or rights, or something like that. I thought it was a highly unnecessary class until the teacher showed up on the first day and made it evident that we could be ripped off at any moment and not realize it (after telling us never to believe anything he told us. Who's to say the UNAM didn't hire a troupe of actors?, he said). He's really funny, and also doesn't show up sometimes because he's apparently a very busy lawyer and has to run around doing lawyer-stuff.

French: She's an actual real French person. She also can't say "Guadalajara". Meh, she's okay. Better than my other French teachers I'd say.

Math: Snore. Not very good at explaining. Last week we did limits, and se started off by saying that she was walking along a graph and wanted to get to a certain point, and something about the slope from one side, but then the other, and something about jumping... I don't know, but I discovered that if I just tune her out and look at the board, I understand way faster.

Chemistry: WAY COOL! Last year when I had my useless dolt of a teacher it took us two weeks to learn electronic configuration. And I had to study it out of books afterwards, and I still didn't get it. And yeat, with my new teacher, I understood completely in about fifteen minutes.

To think that for an entire school year I was suffering with that... man... while on the other side of the wall, only a few meters away, was Chemistry Heaven. Who woulda thunk it.

I also have extra Biology as an elective subject, with a guy who's about 30 and gets sidetracked a lot, but the class is still interesting. Because when he gets sidetracked, he just keeps talking about Biology, whereas others will start talking about politics and so on.

Last year vs This year #1

My last year of high school started on Monday. I mean, I'm hoping it's my last year of high school. Because who knows, maybe I'll break my back and be unable to attend school EVER AGAIN, or perhaps take up prescription drugs and alcohol and get run over one cold November night in a drunken daze of druggieness.

I mean, you never know.

But I was going somewhere with this... ah, yes. I was going to say that your last year is supposed to be the hardest, right? Working to raise your grades and all. Securing your future. Bribing your teachers. Blah blah. But you know, I've only been back for three days and I have a feeling this year won't be anywhere near as hard as last year.

For one thing I don't have to stay a zillion extra hours at school per week the way I did last year.

Last year I had to go to weekly stupid, pointless meetings for the group that's going to Europe (did I ever mention I dearly regret joining that group? A psychologist at school made me see her and said that she understood why I felt they way I did, but at this point all I could do was go and try to enjoy myself. Then she told me to socialize. And to think more about what I want and then act upon that, and not what other people want. Where was I? Ah, yes. Pointless meetings). I had to take psychological tests and have extra French lessons apart from my normal ones. And go to boring talks about ugly paintings, museums, buildings, etc. Also, Italian classes. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I think, from three to five.

And giving up weekends for those useless workshops about controlling your emotions, molding plasticine into little shapes according to "whatever you're feeling right now", and then nodding at the end and saying that it was fun and cool and it felt good to get in touch with your inner self and I WOULD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN EVEN IF YOU PAYED ME.

Sorry. Anyway, that in itself isn't that much work, but then I also had crazy teachers for my regular classes. Altogether I didn't really enjoy myself last year.

It's getting late, so I'm going to shower and hit the sack for now. But keep your eyes peeled for part two, where I won't be so angsty and annoying. I promise.