My sister is a little old sour lady in the making

I was talking to my sister not two minutes ago and she was telling me how much she and her boyfriend hate children. They also share a non-pervy chocolate fetish, but that's beside the point.

"I'm so not having children," she tells me, "I mean, if they were crying in the middle of the night, I'd probably be all, 'SHUT UP!!!'. I mean, I might get a weird urge in my 30s or whatever, but... meh. No, we hate kids."

"But," I reply, "if they were your kids, you'd love them! I mean, I had a dream once where I was pregnant, and I got all attached to my fetus and stuff. So when I woke up and there was no fetus, I was all, 'Aww, no fetus.' "

"Oh, I had a dream where I was pregnant." My sister replies vaguely, a faraway look on her face and her eyes unfocused. "It was horrible."


Conclusion: My kids are SO NOT GETTING NEAR her. She'll probably turn into one of those sour little old ladies (or a 40-year-old party animal). My kids will look at old photos and be like, "What happened to Auntie Irene? Where did she go?"
And I'll reply, "Ooh, it was an awful accident. Cats ate her face!"

It sounded interesting

I was at my grandparent's house today for some Easter celebration thing (or something) and when the conversation got boring my cousin, sister and I wandered off and started reading some old Sweet Valley High books. If you don't know what those are, let me explain:

Sweet Valley is a series of over 150 books that are the very definition of corny, about twins called Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield who predictably have very different personalities: Jessica is a "social butterfly" (but we all know what that really means) and many times has idiotic ideas, the consequences of which are usually dealt with by Elizabeth, who is nerdy and stuff. They're both blonde and popular and pretty and so on.

Anyway, we were reading SVH, and my mom popped in and told us about a blog where people criticize the Sweet Valley Series to their heart's content, feeding on the inconsistencies that the very book seem to be based on.

"It's called The Dairi Burger [the Dairi Burger is a fast food restaurant from the books where the twins often stuff their faces, but it's okay because they never gain weight or get zits]. They just love ripping Elizabeth to bits. She's supposed to be the sensible one and so on, but just think: how many times has she cheated on Todd? And she's such a know-it-all; can nobody solve their problems without her?"

After a good 5 minutes of speech my mom left. My sister, Isabel, lifted her head from the bed she was lying on and said to me, over her book,

"What did mom say? It sounded interesting."

That made me laugh so hard I fell of my couch. Then my mom came back and asked what was making me laugh so hard, except I didn't have the heart to tell her.

Plus I couldn't speak.

And I'm still laughing about it now. By myself, at night, all alone in the corridor.

Ba-gels, ba-gels <3

The whole block has no power, except for my house, which is why I'm not really entitled to complain, but I'm going to anyway. Because while we do have power, we don't have any on the ground floor. Which is where the TV is.

So my parents have an extension cord dangling downstairs, to which are connected the essential appliances: the fridge, the microwave, and the coffeemaker. Also the toaster, but not because it's essential. It's because we have a bunch of bagels, and we have two choices: eat them ourselves now, or wait a few days 'till they're all old and and gross and give them to the dog. And I do love bagels.

Except once when I was 10 or so, I ate three bagels as if they were donuts, i.e., straight out of the bag. After that it got sort of hard to move so I had to stay put on the couch for a while.

On another note, I was playing around with Microsoft Word and I noticed that in the bit that lets you insert weird symbols and stuff, there's a bunch of kanji. So I can copy them and then paste them into an online translator set to translate from Japanese to English and waste lots of time like that. For example, 帚 means broom. And 糖 means sugar. I mean, if you ask me, I think it's easier to just write "sugar", or at least write it in kana (if you don't know what that means, well, I'm too lazy to explain so go look it up or something), but I'm probably being ignorant here so it's best you don't listen to me.

The fetuses have holidays, too

Today...

Today...

Today I am free! Free!!!

This is because I am staring off into the distance at the week of holidays ahead of me, ignoring the mountain of homework that certain evil teachers have given us. I'll tell you about my day :)

I woke up feeling happy and refreshed from sleeping in my soft, fluffy warm bed and then realized that my classmates were, at that very moment, in History class. It went something like this: Yawn, mmmmmh. Roll over. Snuggle pillow. Look at watch. ... ... ... huh? ... ... ... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Then I went to school, except my Geography "teacher" wasn't there - he no doubt decided he deserved the day off. So I went and wrote my French exam instead, which I was supposed to have done yesterday, except I couldn't because of a long and boring story you don't care about.

Then I looked at a bunch of dead, headless fetuses and blond lab rats. And a tiny frog. And a big foot floating around in a sort of fish-tank thing. And a mermaid baby (the ones that have their legs sort of fused together, and membranes between their fingers) that was stitched up all gory-like. And a very lonely-looking penis sitting all by itself in its tank thing.

After that I went to Math and had a refreshing mental nap. Then I had no more classes, so I just hung around wasting time. Then I came home. That is my day. The end.

No, we're not related...

... I'm a human.

Recognize that? Naota says it in the second episode of FLCL.

So, I've been neglecting Monsieur Blog for a while, but it's only because I've been busy, see? Going to school and doing homework and watching anime and stalking that Japanese guy at school. So busy, in fact, that I've even stopped RPGing.

Anyway, on Thursday I went with some friends to a museum and a book fair. The book fair, actually. Because it's the biggest & best in the country, I think. Or maybe it was second-best, I forgot. Anyway, it's big. So I took some photos, which I will share with you only because I like you and because I'm really too lazy to write much at the moment. Plus I'm busy... productively observing an important part of the modern culture of the nation of the rising sun while I eat frozen mango cubes.


Well, it isn't actually a photo of the book fair. It's of the subway on the way back.


And this one is of my friends being monkeys on the kiddie games that some genius put, like, ten meters away from the main entrance (and the only one, if you don't count jumping the fence or the one for cars) to the school. There's a sign that says

"Exclusively for children"

which would make you think that we're not supposed to use them (plus two of my friends got chased away once), except somebody had a marker along with a bit of wit and some free time, so the sign now reads

"Exclusively for children and young adults"

so it's okay now. Although really, kids shouldn't be allowed there because it's not really well-made (or finished, for that matter- it's stayed the same for a few weeks now). It wiggles considerably, plus it has no ladders or anything. And there are nails sticking out. And the platforms are way too high for anybody who would fit in the tube-thing that you're supposed to climb through. Oh, and about the tube, it kind of got vandalized and now bears a somewhat, ah, rude warning about what awaits anybody who manages to wiggle into it. Oh, and there's some broken beer bottles mixed in with the pebbles, which is okay if you don't crawl around on them, I suppose.

Oh, and there's a nearby slide that got bent out of shape and spanks you when you reach the bottom.

Just sayin'.