Suburban Godzilla

Remember my Godzilla sock puppet T-shirt? You should, I wrote about it like 3 days ago. (That is, 3 days ago when I started this post, which means that it's actually been over two weeks). I've been meaning for ages to make a Godzilla sock puppet and I figured, hey, I'm on holidays. All I do is laze around, eat, and watch Star Trek with my family.

i.e., it's time to get off my butt and do something productive... uh, just do something.

So I dug out through the piles of unmatched socks we've accumulated over the years and found the closest match to Godzilla's skin tone. I was worried at first because I couldn't find any green socks, but then I looked more closely at pictures of Godzilla and it turns out he's not green, he's black. I don't know how I never noticed.

**bragging up ahead**

Also I know I've got the color just right because I have an original Bandai Godzilla figurine hand painted by a Japanese slave (there's a picture on the box of an unhappy man painting a little Godzilla with an eensy brush to prove it. Then there's a lot of Japanese writing with "GODZILLA DREAM" at the end). The color matches pretty well. Actually the figurine is pretty nifty. It's from a series that was made for Godzilla's 50th anniversary and it's an excellent photo subject.


Lovely. But I'm totally off track now.

So I dug up two socks, and looked around the Internetz for helpful instructions. I didn't find much, as it turns out that people don't write about making sock puppets nowadays, and I blame them entirely for the fact that my puppet is crappy and will fall apart before I can show it proper love, see a movie, and have a picnic on the beach with it.

So anyway, I mostly had to wing it. I used this for the mouth, though I modified it as I went along. I'm not actually sure what I did, I just remember there was a point where I stopped mindlessly sewing for a moment, only to discover I was sewing his mouth shut. YouTube and sewing don't mix. I finished sometime in the wee hours of the morning.

Following are three action shots of The Suburban Godzilla Sock Puppet that my dear mother valiantly risked her life to obtain. I don't think I have to tell you to click to enlarge.

I love this shot. I cropped it to the proportions of my screen, so I can use it as my wallpaper.

After a long day of knocking down pagodas*, Godzilla will often stare off into the horizon, wondering if his true love is out there somewhere, too.

Okay, this next one isn't what you'd call a quality shot, but I'm putting it here so you can see how bad the mouth turned out. As I said, his life expectancy isn't great.


*Get it? Because in the movies he always knocks down a pagoda...

Farm Crackers

Today I went to Costco with my parents. I love grocery shopping, it's so fun 8)

In Costco they're building something where the fridges are, so a section of the refrigerated food disappeared, leaving my parents disoriented and confused on their quest for butter. Something good came of the ensuing hunt, though, in the form of the discovery of cheese- and pizza-flavored crackers!

The crackers are farm-animal shaped, so you can eat cows, roosters, ducks, sheep, giraffes and pigs. This in itself is really not that remarkable, but what made me fall in love with these crackers was the fact that one of the mascots is a pig... called "Piggles".


So there I was, doubled over in the middle of Costco with a box of crackers in my hand, going, "HA HA HA HA HA, PIGGLES!! HA HA HA!" for a few minutes. When I finally finished I noticed that an old man was staring at me and that my parents had forged my signature on an emancipation form and run away.


They're actually very yummy. Also, according to the box they're 70% organic, which means that the other 30% is plastic, pesticides and dead bugs. Inorganic dead bugs.

Bits of cloth

I know it sucks to post about your clothes and that's really lame and all, but I LOVE MY T-SHIRTS.

And recently I've found a whole bunch of cheap ones, so...

This one is about protecting whale T-shirts. You see, everyone's always going "Protect the whales!" but who thinks about the whale T-shirts? NOBODY! A bold statement. Also this is wrinkled because I found it in a ball at the foot of my bed, for some reason. I thought it was in the laundry.

DJ Penguin.
Rad.

I wasn't going to get this one on account of the fact that it says "CUTE", but it has a space bunny on it. With fangs. And a space fish that FLIES.

I love this one. It has it all: a sock puppet, fabric and GODZILLA. Also I was with my sister one time when we needed 5o cents to get on the Metrobús, and some guy lent them to us and said that he was a designer-artist guy and he liked our T-shirts (sister was wearing mushroom shirt that says "I love you very mush")

Can't leave this one out. It has a naked woman on it taking a nap, AND it's a hoodie shirt. I got this at the Haggard concert last week and now that I think about it, I haven't washed it since. It doesn't smell... even though there were hordes of sweaty people smushed up against it. Yeah, I know. Ew. *eyeroll*

Mah youth

I've been badgering my parents lately for tales of their youth, and they both say they can't remember and that they were boring when they were young anyway (and let me tell you, in the case of my dad that ain't true, 'cause I've been talking to my aunt. Hoo boy). That got me thinking, I should write more here. Otherwise I'll be old and senile one day and I won't remember my youth.

Not fun.

So in the interest of not forgetting my entire life up to this point by the time I'm 40 and boring and LYING TO MY CHILDREN (should I have any), I'm going to try to not be so lazy about this.

So here's a hil-aaaarious tale of my golden years:


Like two weeks ago I went with my sister to the mall and we got some chocolate popsicles covered in cereal-y stuff. I accidentally spit out a ball of my cereal topping, watching in horror as it sailed from my mouth, forming a neat parabola through the gap in the glass case protecting the syrup and landed in the piña colada flavored syrup.

Then I looked around and saw that nobody had actually seen this, including the shop employees. Nobody, except for this one girl in the line who slowly moved her gaze from the piña colada towards me in disgust.

Yum, popsicles.

Lookng through an old notebook

I found this, dated June 11th, 2007:

"I think one of the guys at my [preparation] course [to get into high school] is crazy. He says he was walking down the street and an old lady with no teeth gave him an apple, but he didn't want it. Then he said Santa Claus came and then he started laughing like a madman."

That guy was creepy. He always wore a pair of red plaid pants. He had a weird name that started with an O...

How I hated that course.

Quote of the day:

"Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart"

-The Moldy Peaches

Totally.