Here's what I do at school

Last week in English class we had to write a text that describes a country's famous sights. For example:

France is a country in Europe. Its capital is Paris. The Louvre Museum is in France, and so is the Arc de Triomphe.

We were supposed to do it in pairs (I usually do that kind of thing alone, though, seeing as my English is, frankly, better than my teacher's). The guy behind me and the guy diagonally across from me wrote theirs together. They picked Germany, and couldn't think of anything. I suggested the remains of Nazi concentration camps, but they said they'd rather not (I don't know why, as, according to my sister, they are popular tourist sites).
After ten minutes (and several jokes about sightseeing and German women), the teacher said "Ok, hand in your work". I went and got mine marked, and when I got back to my seat, they were laughing and congratulating themselves. Then they showed me their notebooks:

"Germany is a country in Europe. People speak German. The capital of Germany is Berlin. The Üghteniten is an important building in Germany."

It seems the teacher thought "Üghteniten" sounded German, too, so they got a ten.

A few days ago at recess, a friend and I were happily dancing a little piece we made up when a first year stuffed full of ego walked past and said that we should quit drugs. I picked up one of the fruits that fall from one of the trees (about half a centimeter in diameter, and very soft) and tossed it at him. Given my aiming skills, I failed miserably. My friend picked up a little rock slightly bigger than the fruit and chucked it at him full-force. It hit him beautifully, and it bounced off his head. He jumped and started to turn; my friend whirled me around and tugged me along with her so that we were casually walking away from the scene of the crime (afterwards she looked around for him and made sure he wasn't hurt; he looked fine enough, and if there was any damage at all, it was a bit of ego that flew out of him with the impact).