Books 4 and 5

I forgot to mention that I finished some more books.

Number four was Never Trust a Flamingo, from the Full House: Stephanie series.

Yes, I know. Permit me to explain. When my sisters and were wee lasses, and we were all normal and untroubled by nasty eating disorders and depression and all that** we would sometimes get to Go To Work With Daddy!! Yay!! These were awesome days, when you got Daddy to yourself (it was one daughter at a time), and you could use his colored chalk to draw on his blackboard, and meet Daddy's coworkers, and go to a restaurant for lunch.

The thing is, though, that wee lasses can get bored easily. I mean, you can't draw on a chalkboard for six hours straight and still have fun. So there's been a small stash of kid-friendly books in my Dad's office for... I don't know, probably more than a decade.

On Monday I found myself the unwilling owner of five hours between classes, so after doing a bit of homework and going for a bike ride, I ate my lunch in my Dad's office and read this book.

You see? It was either that or stare at the wall for half an hour.

So on to the actual book, it met my expectations. Which is to say, it was terrible.

Plot: Stephanie (whose age in this book isn't mentioned, but I think she's around thirteen) goes on a 3-day school trip to some mountains. There is skiing involved. Stephanie's dad had vowed that none of his daughters would ever ski (yes, really), but gives his consent anyway. He has nothing better to do (job? who cares about jobs?) so he goes along, too, AND brings Stephanie's little sister, 8-year-old Michelle.

It bears noting that for some reason Steph is being really mean to Michelle for no apparent reason. Example: Stephanie is chatting with her buddies in the living room and Michelle enters to eat her after-school cupcake snack (healthy!), at which point Stephanie goes all batty and tells Michelle to go away and give her some privacy. Michelle is all, "I don't give a sh*t about your conversation, I'm just eating my cupcake", but Stephanie keeps on being all snooty until her sister gets fed up and leaves.

Anyway, blah blah blah, they go on the trip, Stephanie is a total bitch not only to Michelle but also to this other girl, Melody, whom she'd never even met before. She banishes Mel from their room, refuses to hang out with her and kicks her out of their ski team because she doesn't like Mel's friends. Oh, also, her best friend sprains her ankle, and her first thought is not "OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY!?", but rather, "OH NO!! NOW WHO WILL TEACH ME TO SNOWBOARD? I'LL LOSE THE SNOWBOARDING RACE!". Nice.

So anyway, she spends three days being mean to people (and flirting with a guy she doesn't even like just to make another girl jealous. Have I mentioned Stephanie is really classy?) and in the end, apologizes to the people she's wronged. These people also happen to be the best snowboarders on the trip, and immediately accept her apologies and win the race for her. Oh, and aslo her friend's sprained ankle magically got better, and she participates in the race, too.

I call bullsh*t on that last part: when I was in second grade, I sprained my ankle and hobbled around for more than two days. No way was I snowboarding.

Book 5 was Finn Family Moomintroll.

I picked it up because I thought it was the first in the series (wrong, it's the third) and I wanted something very light and illustrated. It fit the bill.

I like the Moomins. They can be jealous, and selfish, and pig-headed, but you don't dwell on it because

a) They're super nice about 90% of the time

b) They're furry and cute

Also, the book contains the words "stupid" and "ass". Ass!

We have an edition from the 70's, very similar to the one pictured here, except ours is one year younger (1974) and listed as being for sale in the UK, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa. I enjoy the thought that somewhere in South Africa, there are families that have the same edition as we do sitting on a bookshelf, or in a box somewhere.

**Well, not me. My mother says I'm the sanest, and that if feel I'm getting worse, now we know how to get help. But I digress.