Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Monkey)

I am finally getting around to reading Three Men in a Boat. It be lots good.
There have been other times when I would try to read it but never get past the first chapter, because in my family the rule to survival is hoarding. If you have something you want to keep, you hoard it. We have large, secret deposits of ... well, just books, mostly. Oh, and my dad has notebooks and pens in his study (a small room of his at the very top of the house, where he will disappear for long stretches of time, ocasionally crawling out to watch football) .
It is rough, surviving in this jungle- er, house (I'm not a Brit. I just like the way "er" looks). If you leave anything out in the open, it'll be snagged before you can do something which takes a short amount of time to do, e.g. blink. Then the stinky little thief who claims to be your blood kin will roll themselves into a ball around the object in question and roll away, as you stand there wondering why you ever decided that living with monkeys would be an interesting experience, regardless of whether or notit is an excellent conversation topic.
I may be exaggerating a few points here, but you probably get my general idea, so it's okay to take a bit of creative licence.
Anyway, I am taking advantage that there is only one other soul in the house right now (well, two, actually, but the other one's not a monkey. Oh, and there's the dog, too) to read the book and post this.
Actually, I don't really feel like reading anymore, even though it's such a good book. Maybe I'll go outside and skate a bit, since it isn't raining. If anyone barges into my room and demands that I hand over the book, I will say innocently, "What book?"
"Three Men in a Boat!", they will exclaim, "I know you have it. I read it in your blog."
Then I will serenely answer, "You can't believe everything you read.", and the monkey will roll away frustrated. And I will snort to myself and pull the book out from under my pillow and continue reading and eating bananas (those monkeys really rub off on you), and using too many "and"s in my sentences.